You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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