i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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