I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
