Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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