I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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