The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
