just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
