Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
