he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Less talking, more tequila
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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