Bisexual people are plain selfish.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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