Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
