Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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