I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
