come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The struggles of a small town man whore
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
