i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
