i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize