so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
