playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
