Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Jerry, you need to find god
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
A+ Viking dick
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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