i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I don't deserve a penis
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
