I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
