capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
