That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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