Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
