Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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