Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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