Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
