i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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