She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
