im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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