Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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