alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I FOUND THE LEGS
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
