I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
