your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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