I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
