tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
