If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
