We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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