apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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