Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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