she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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