is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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