plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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