My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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