I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
