too bad you live with your parents still
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
