So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The beer is more important than you right now.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
COCAINE IS GR8
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
