what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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