I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
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He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
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I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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