Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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