They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize