Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
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remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
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You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.