I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
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so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
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I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.