508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
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im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
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I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.