Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
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All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
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They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
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