You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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