Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We left the knife in your bed.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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