i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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