i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
