That's when you crack a 10am beer
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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